She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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