i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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