can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
