My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
