I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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