Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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