Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Two words: blizzard sex
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
