i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I bet he comes in French.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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