Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
