I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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