idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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