cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
