were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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