It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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