yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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