Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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