Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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