Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
