No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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