im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
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I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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