Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
