areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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