Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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