I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
