I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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