somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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