I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I see more hoeing in ur future
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