is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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