the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
