For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
