So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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