erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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