You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
