yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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