my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
