They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
