my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
