It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The struggles of a small town man whore
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