is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
