I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
