I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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