is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
