Small penises have feelings too.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Randomize
