i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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