i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
