I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
