So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
