Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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