your room smells of hookers.
And success
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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