OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
