I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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