fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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