If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
